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Four in One!

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May. 1st, 2006 | 05:24 pm
mood: cheerfulcheerful
posted by: irstrange in 1000ways_rs

Title: And You What?
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Description: All dialogue.
Length: 205 words
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I disclaim.
Author's Note: (Four OneShots after LJ Cut.)

“Come on Moony, you have to eat! Wake up!”

“Sjioehf jfhksldjfhbek gfgheh!!!”

“Could you please take your head out of your pillow before talking, thanks.”

“Sirius, I WANT to SLEEP.”

“But it’s noon.”

“But I spent last night painfully contorting my body into another shape. I’m tired, so bite me.”

“Oo, Kinky.”




“Don’t you dare go back to sleep on me!”



“I DON’T need CPR, Sirius. I’m sleeping, not dead.”

“You scared me… I mean, you COULD have been dead.”

“I was Breathing!”


“Ow – Sir- ius – st- op!”

“Come on Remus, you can pull through this!”


“Ouch! Someone’s a bit touchy today.”

“You’re such a flea bag.”

“Oh, touché.”


“Seriously -wink- Moony, you need to eat. You know, don’t up chuck, eat up. Stay healthy”

“Pads, that’s a commercial from TV you saw at my house for Bulimia or something.”

“Riiight, I was wonder why I felt the urge to say ‘This is a public service announcement’.”


“Ah, Moony, I love your laugh…”

“Hey, do you have the Charms homew-“


“You just – just…”

“Kissed you? Yes, good boy.”

“…and I-I…”

“And you, what?”

“…and I liked it.”

Title: As You Wish
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Description: All dialogue.
Length: 316 words
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I disclaim.



“Don’t say that.”


“I’m bored.”

“Well, Moony old pal, that may have something to do with reading your potions book for the third time in a row.”

“Are you serious-”

“-Why, yes, I am.”

(sigh) “-We have NEWTs this year.”

“Yeah, but it’s also a beautiful spring day, the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, Prongs is off wooing Evans…”

“Wormtail is off digging through trash cans... most likely.”

“And we, the most eligible bachelors of Hogwarts, are cooped up in the Gryffindor Common Room-”


“Correction. You are studying and I’m watching you studying.”



“You were watching me?”

“…” (prolonged silence) “Maaaybe.”

“And you were watching me because…”

“Is it a crime to watch a friend?”

“…” (Hesitation) “It’s weird, yeah?”

“That’s your opinion.”

“Don’t skulk, it’s unbecoming.”

“I’m not skulking. I’m choosing not to look at you, because you think it’s weird.”

“I never said stop.”

“You wish for me to continue?”

“What ever you fancy, really.”

“So, you’re saying I could stare at you until Kingdom come?”

“If that’s what your little heart desires then, yes. That is to say, until you get bored.”





“I would never get bored.”

“What are you implying, Sirius?”

“That we make use of this empty Common Room.”


“What ever your little heart desires… preferably me.”

“Does that line ever work?”

“Depends, are you going to let me kiss you?”

“Hmm… … … yes.”


“But, first you have to wipe that idiotic smirk off your face.”

“Ouch, tough love.”

“Well- Emumnummm…Sirius, before you snog, could you at least wait until I finish my- humnen”

“-No. I have waited seven years, I don’t think I should have to wait much longer.”

“Seven years?”


“Ehem… remember, your not saying that.”

“Oh, really Mr. Moony?”


“I can’t bare the silence! Kiss me you fool!”

“As you wish…”

Title Biting the Moon
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Description: All dialogue.
Length: 524 words
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I disclaim.

“Sirius, I don’t WANT you to come with me. It’s dangerous.”

“Oh, Moony. You sound so exasperated.”

“Stop grinning like an idiot.”

“No need to get snippy.”

“I am NOT being snippy. I’m merely interested in keeping my best mate ALIVE.”

“I’ve done it before.”

“THAT was with the others, but THEY are going home for holidays.”

“So Prongs-y and ‘Tail won’t be there. Who cares?”

“Don’t be stupid. It’s different when you all are together. It’s just…”





“You know what, lunar boy?”


“I wish I could bite the moon in half.”

“Because… you’re really hungry?”

(sigh) “You can be really dumb sometimes.”

“Excuse me? Who’s going to get O’s one their NEWTs?”

“I meant in other areas than schooling.”

“Oh, yeah. Why do you say that?”

“There you are, being snippy again.” Pause “I wish I could bite the moon in half BECAUSE then it would never be full.”


“Gee, don’t say something or anything, ‘cause, you know, it might get more than just EXTREMELY awkward.”

“It’s just- that was really nice… and surprisingly deep.”

“Well, I like to think I’m somewhat of a poet.”

(snort) “You’re a regular Shakespeare.”

“Ooo, those are fighting words. Are you trying to start something? Do you wanna fight?”

“Yeah, sure… just wait ‘til sunset.”

“Trying to kill me?”

“I think the real question is, are YOU trying to kill ME?”

“I wouldn’t kill you, you’re too cute to die.”

“Erm, Padfoot, you just called me cute.”

“Yes, I believe I did. Good thing I’m dashingly handsome and have my looks to save me from such an OBVIOUS blonder in words.”

“Blonder in words? What did you mean to say?”

“That, you will never know…”


“Is that a warning tone I hear? Ok, ok, don’t get your shorts –or knickers- in a twist.”

“I do NOT wear knickers!”

“How am I supposed to know that, I’ve never seen what’s under your robes.”

“Are you saying you want to see what IS under my robes?”

“Did I make the hint that evident? So, what do you wear under our Gryffindor colours?”

“That, you will never know.”

(gasp) “Is Moony mocking ME?”

“Wow, you’re good.”

“Woh, sarcasm too?”

“I wear shorts, not that it matters.”

“On the contrary. This means you’re not as up tight as everyone thinks.”

“People think I’m up tight?”

(dramatic sigh) “Like a quill up your bum; up tight.”


“Well, you could do something to counter that. Something no one would expect.”


“Kissing someone at random…”


“You are missing the point of random. Perhaps someone close to you, literally.”

“You? But there’s no one else around, it would be pointless.”

“To me it wouldn’t be.”

“You WANT me to kiss you?”

“We are in the dorm alone… together… by our selves… all on our lonesome.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I didn’t think I had to.”

“You do.”

“I like it when you’re forceful…”


“Yes? Oh, right! I want you, Remus ‘Moony’ Lupin, to kiss me, Sirius ‘Padfoot’ Black, right here at this very moment.”

“That’s all I wanted to know.”

“Are you smirking?”

Title G-R-O-W-L
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG
Description: All dialogue.
Length: 203 words
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I disclaim.

“Sirius! Get off my bed, you’re soaking.”

“Moony, you are such a wet blanket.”

“No, what you’re lying is a wet blanket.”

“Fine, then let me rephrase that,” (clears throat) “Moony, you are such a girl.”

“I’m not a girl. If I was, you most defiantly would have shagged me by now… or at least tried.”

“Who says I wasn’t going to try?”

“Erm… God, I guess. You know, when he decided to make you a boy.”

“And who says boys can’t shag? Moony, I do believe you’re homophobic.”

“I am not! I just never took you for the type of swinging the other way.”

(suggestive voice) “Wanna come lie beside me?”

“Are you hitting on me?”

“Is it that hard to believe?”

“You know, it’s impolite to answer a question with a question.”

“Then, yes I was hitting on you. But you’ve lost your chance, being the wet blanket you are, you dampened the mood.”

“But it’s still there?”

“Yes, it’s just a tad moist.”

“So can I still take you up on your offer?”

“Of coarse.”



“Sirius, what are you doing?”

“Having a bit of fun… the others are still at the snowball fight…”

“I see your point.”


A/N: Which one did you like the best, be honest!

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Comments {10}


(no subject)

from: pelledra
date: May. 15th, 2006 05:40 am (UTC)

Oh wow. Oh wow oh wow oh wow.
How to choose?
Oh dear.
Um.... 1?
Maybe the last one.

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(no subject)

from: irstrange
date: May. 19th, 2006 12:31 am (UTC)

Aw. Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked them. ;)

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(no subject)

from: odduck17
date: Jul. 12th, 2006 05:45 am (UTC)

oh the squeeing.
they were great.

choosing a favorite??
i think i have to go with the first one.

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(no subject)

from: irstrange
date: Jul. 18th, 2006 09:11 am (UTC)

Why thank you! I'm glad you liked them. XD

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(no subject)

from: rowanheart24
date: Jul. 14th, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC)

"As You Wish" was my favorite. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading more from you!

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(no subject)

from: irstrange
date: Jul. 18th, 2006 09:13 am (UTC)

Aw. Thank you! I'm thrilled that you liked that one the best... it was the first puppy love fic I wrote. XD

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from: slashyfluff
date: Aug. 19th, 2006 08:22 pm (UTC)

Aww theyre so very cuh-yooot! I like the firstone best, but theyre all brilliant!

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Re: !!

from: irstrange
date: Aug. 20th, 2006 07:44 am (UTC)

Thank you so much. I'm delighted that you liked them!

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Dec. 1st, 2006 11:40 pm (UTC)

I liked the first one best. To be honest, after the second one the all-dialogue got kind of annoying. I liked the last one too, but the I kind of skipped over the third.

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(no subject)

from: himynameisdani
date: Jul. 28th, 2007 04:26 am (UTC)

I do believe those are amazing

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